Thursday, April 7, 2011

Bite Me

I have mentioned, from time to time, my implant process. Tooth implant, that is. I don't want to misrepresent and titillate unnecessarily. So to speak.

It began in early September and a few weeks ago I mentioned light at the end of the tunnel. Which has since been squelched. Because in the months since the extraction I've been wearing a silly and uniquely annoying little device to fill the space left open. It serves no real function beyond aesthetics. Apparently, one of the jobs that it didn't do that a real tooth would have is keep the tooth next to it in place.


A lot of money we didn't really have has been invested in this implant process. This was not aesthetic - this was necessary. Beyond the investment of money, there has been the investment of time and pain and social awkwardness. I've put a lot into this stupid tooth.

And now the tooth next to it is twisted.


To make all of this pain and time and money worthwhile, I will need to invest a little pain and time and money into orthodontia.

I am 48 years old.

I do not have the whitest teeth in the world - but they have always been straight. When I first broke the tooth that caused all of this trouble - some 40 odd years ago - I remember the dentist shaking his head and telling my mother with great sadness in his voice, "It's a shame. I've rarely seen such a perfect bite."

And now I'm getting braces.

I went to the orthodontist yesterday for a consultation.

Orthodontist's offices are very - kid friendly.

As I was touring the bright, kid-friendly facility, I had a hot flash. Are you effing kidding me with this? Just keep heaping on those humiliations. I've survived old, fat and toothless - I can take anything. Bring it on.

I don't know what I was hoping he'd say, but I know I WASN'T hoping that he'd add another 3 months (or so - whatever that means...) to the time I'll have to wait for my crown and my smile.

But that's what he did.

That is just what he did.


Eva Gallant said...

I swear all dentists are out to drain you of all cash possible!

5thsister said...

I am so sorry Tammy. If it makes you feel any better my Munchie Boy will need 9 implants when he is finished growing as that is the number of adult tooth buds missing. Yikes. I need to hurry up and write that best seller so we can afford the work!

Rosa said...

Oh No!! I'm so sorry the tooth saga still continues. >:(

Gibby said...

Ya know, we could have some fun with this...braces come in colors now. You could coordinate yours to your current drink of choice. Drinking a lot of margaritas? Lime green it is! Summer Shandy? A nice golden yellow. Those kids won't know what hit 'em as they overhear you explaining this to the ortho team...

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

Ouch. I understand feeling insulted. In my mid-40s, while wearing a full set of braces, I had to have a hysterectomy. Sheesh.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Oh Tammy, I so feel your pain. When I was 45 I decided to get my never-straight-teeth straightened. It was a very long 2 year process filled with many visits in the very, very kids friendly office which made me look like a total geezer-- But, vanity called, after all these years so off I went.

As you start on your "journey" I wish you smooth sailing, a short trip and lots of dental wax! And hang in there. It will all be worth it in the end. I'm sooooo glad I did it.

xoxo jj

Sandy said...

And I'm guessing with those additional months came additional costs. Yeah, getting old costs money.