Sunday, March 18, 2012

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

We've all played the 5 people you'd like to have a dinner party with game.  You've probably played a few variations - living and dead, just living, just local - it's a game, the rules can be whatever you want to make them.

Recently - when I was expressing not entirely guarded excitement over the next upcoming Johnny Depp/Tim Burton collaboration - I realized that four of the people involved in that little extravaganza would be in my top five people I'd like to have dinner with.  They are, of course, the aforementioned Johnny Depp and Tim Burton, Helena Bonham Carter, and Alice Cooper.  Can you frickin' imagine?  I said as much to Tom, then added, "Throw in Elvis Costello and that there is a dinner party."

Tom laughed.

"You don't think that's an awesome dinner party?"

"Oh, no doubt.  But what are WE doing there?"

"Being awesome?"

"How did we even get there?"

"Radio contest?"

"Seriously.  You're sitting at a table with Johnny Depp to your left, Elvis Costello to your right, Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter across from you and Alice Cooper at the head of the table.  What exactly is your contribution?"

"Potato salad?"

"In the face of that much cool, we would be reduced to blithering idiots."


"This is my point."

"I'll hold off on the invitations."

"Good call."

It's still a good list, though.  And I DO make a pretty passable potato salad.

Now, the dinner party list invariably leads to the 'Free Pass' list.  I posted mine a couple years ago - but as I've changed in a few years, so has my list - most notably to include one Mr. Benedict Cumberbatch.

I know what you're thinking - I hear you - "Tammy, you're old enough to be his mother." - I know.  The thing is, you never know what the heart craves in it's private moments.  Maybe he had an encounter with big fat Fannie (she was such a naughty nanny) and he's played out an older, heavier woman script in his head - secretly - ever since.  You don't know.

Besides - how cool would it be to lean over the table at Cracker Barrel and whisper conspiratorially to your bestie, "Of late I have been engaged in a dalliance with one Benedict Cumberbatch."?  I'll venture to say that would be very cool indeed.  Don't you just like to imagine that if your last name was Cumberbatch, you'd have the good sense to name your son Benedict?  Maybe I should invite his parents to dinner.  Do British people like potato salad?  (For what it's worth - I realize that this may indeed be a stage name - but I prefer to think that it is not.  It's a game of fantasies, for Pete's sake.) eta:  Liv - currently obsessed with all things British - informs me that his actual name is Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch.  Mr. and Mrs. Cumberbatch?  I'm boiling potatoes as I type...

Thinking about the two lists, though, I find it interesting how little overlap there is.  People we'd want to have dinner with but not necessarily have an affair with - well - that makes sense.  But people we'd want to have an affair with but not necessarily have dinner with?  Aw, what does that make us, people?  My Venn Diagram looks like this:

If I were hipper, I would have done it on a post-it note.  
And for what it's worth - I'd have dinner with any of those men.  Even Joe Perry.  

What does your Venn Diagram look like?

picture source:


StarTraci said...

First off, age is erased by the Free Pass. I'm pretty sure that Adrien Grenier does not qualify as my generation -- just sayin'.

I think that would a great party and you would be awesome!


Blissed-Out Grandma said...

My imagination is kinda stuck on Jon Bon Jovi now. That's a pretty simple Venn Diagram. I suspect I'll be thinking about this in coming days!

Joanna Jenkins said...

OMG-- You're not going to believe this but I actually had dinner with Benedict Cumberbatch and he is every bit as charming and funny as you'd expect-- AND he is much more handsome in person.

He was in the film "Amazing Grace" and I met him at the premiere (a couple of years ago-- before "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy). He and his girlfriend were in the process of moving" to America to launch is career over here. I'd say he's done pretty darn good since then if he made YOUR dinner party list :-)

He's gonna be a big star! xo jj

Anonymous said...

My Venn Diagram...goes like this:


Ellen Degeneres
Bonnie Hunt
Julia Roberts
Jennifer Garner
Tom Hanks

Free Pass:
Adam Levine
Blake Shelton
Hugh Jackman
Patrick Dempsey
Sofia Vergera

How's that??? :)