Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Bird is the Word

So we're running a quick errand today - Tom and I in the front seat, the three girls in the back. A low flying bird flies right in front of the car. Busy street, no room or time to swerve. Thud.

Tom and I exchange "Oh shit" looks and he checks out the rear view mirror. No squashed bird in sight.



We had all heard that distinctive thud.

"Did we hit it?" came tentatively from the back seat.

"I don't know."

Nervous silence from the animal lovers in the back seat.

Nervous glances between the adults in the front seat.

And then...

And then...

Several miles down the road, like a phoenix rising from the ashes, we see a bird take flight from out of nowhere.

That's not exactly true.

We saw a bird take flight from the grille on the front of our car.

"Did you...?"

"Was that...?"

A huge collective sigh of relief came from everyone in the car.

I have never seen anything like that.

That's not exactly true.

Because I watch a lot of cartoons. Or I did. Or I do. Whatever.

This is the sort of behavior one sees a lot of in cartoons.

We imagined what we did not actually see. The bird ran into our car, wings spread out over the grille, two 'X's taking the place of his eyes. Smaller birds circle his head in a drunken game of ring around the rosie. He shakes his head like a dog with a mouth full of slobber, complete with sound effects. You know the one. You've watched a cartoon or two, too.

Yes you have, shut up.

He shakes it off, flexes his little bird muscle wings, and flies off into the sunset. Or - erm - noonday sun.

The evil forces that would hold him down foiled again.

There's a life lesson here, but I have no intention of getting sappy in a post about cartoons. Learn your own damn life lessons.

Th-Th-Th-That's all, folks!


Cammie said...

next time please make it a goose

Jenni Jiggety said...

*No birds were injured in the writing of this blog post.


MiMi said...

That is funny!! Well, not really about the bird and all, that's sad, but the cartoon stuff was cool! My BFF hit a duck once. We cried.

Unknown Mami said...

If it was a chicken, you could have had grilled chicken.

Housewife Savant said...

I love the visual. 'X's for eyes. The sure sign of death in cartoonland.
This was a miracle. That's what it was.
A stinkin' miracle.

Pam said...

Sounds like you had a close encounter with woody woodpecker or the roadrunner. That's one tough bird.

Anita said...

First off,LOL at Cammie's comment!!!
Secondly, I love that the bird miraculously flew away..........thankfully too. Imagine the agony if the bird had been so happily, in the grill..............eeeewwwwww!
You have great adventures Tammy.

the girl said...

Sounds like it was similar to when birds fly directly into a glass window pane, get the stun of a lifetime, lie on the ground for a bit (convincingly dead-looking), then get up and fly away again. Only this time, it happened at speed. With the bird still attached to the front of your car. Good times.

I love this blog.


PS - 'Grilled chicken'? Too funny to be legal.

Kathy B! said...

Whoa! Thank goodness it wasn't a deer that you hit. Now THAT would've been a sight!

Alex the Girl said...

HA HA @ cammie and mami, you could have goosed his grilled chicken. (sorry)
I hit a gray dove once...poor thing took off right as I was passing and I clipped it's head. We did see his poor decapitated body rolling in the rear view mirror. It was really sad, and I'm pretty sure I teared up.

WhisperingWriter said...

Whew, glad the bird was okay.

I nearly hit an antelope once. They roam the base and one decided to run out in front of me just for the heck of it. Oh and stand in front of my car staring me down.

mama-face said...

ha.We moved from Virginia to Idaho when I was a teenager. ( was awful) anyways...out there in the middle of no where hitting low flying birds is just a part of life. I remember how shocked and disgusted I was at first. But you get used to it.


scrappysue said...

yikes! it would have so much more straightforward without kids in the car!

Debbie said...

I had a traumatic bird and car incident myself once. And yes, yours did sound like a cartoon!

Sandy said...

Hate it when that happens!! With me it's usually the bird into the slider.....little feathers with bird snot stuck to the bird in sight or sometimes on the deck a little dazed & confused. Glad it was a happy ending for all involved.

Gibby said...

That is hysterical. Your writing is so descriptive! Can you imagine the trauma in your backseat if that bird hadn't made it?

When I was in high school, my best friend called me one afternoon in a panic. Seems that she had hit a bird and it died RIGHT ON HER WINDSHIELD while she was still driving. But it was stuck there and wouldn't come off, no matter how fast she took the turns. She had pulled into a parking lot and called me to come help her. So I did. That's high school for ya.

(We shoved the bird in a plastic bag and threw it in the garbage. This is before everyone got all green and stuff...)

Rosa said...

I freaking LOVE cartoons!! Always have, always will.
Now if you could just get an anvil to fall out of the sky and land on someone's head......

Grand Pooba said...

Doesn't that bird watch Seinfeild? We have an agreement with the bird! An agreement!

(perfect ending to that story btw)