Tuesday, September 1, 2009

I Am Not a Beautiful or Unique Snowflake

But I am a flake.

And I'll tell you all about it here in an unprecedented second post in one day.

Responses from my blog go straight to my email and to Tom's as well.

My blog posts on Facebook as well.

Since posting this morning, the outpouring of concern in both places has been overwhelming. And it has been overwhelmingly AGAINST going to the school of casual discomfort.

At about the same time that Tom was IM'ing me to ask me to please listen to my bloggy buds, I was reading an e-mail from one of my nearest and dearest IRL buds pleading with me not to do it.

I canceled.

I will reschedule with the original doctor - the one who made me feel comfortable - the one with a professional office with private surgery suites with big windows overlooking the woods - the one who thinks IV sedation is fine but total sedation is better. I will call him as soon as I am recovered enough from the hysterectomy to know when I will actually be able to make - and keep - an appointment.

I will still feel - be - ugly - very very ugly, no doubt - for several months. That is inevitable. But I will not be as anxious about the procedure or about the ultimate result.

Now here's the thing: I would not have come to this conclusion without the support of my blog and Facebook community. How powerful is that? Tom was too close to the situation. I value his opinion, of course, but in this case - I don't know - I felt like I was just being a pain in the ass and a big whiny baby. And he was going to be affected by this. I didn't want to make things harder on him. My online community stepped back and said - NO - this is really scary - these are valid concerns. The little bit of distance made a difference.

As I was chatting with Rosa (my IRL friend I was e-mailing when I made this decision) I said, "How much does it suck that these people who know me only through the interwebs were able to give me the love and support that I needed, while my mother said, 'It'll be fine, there won't be any difference. Why would you pay more for the same thing? ' " Then I reminded her and myself that my mother is the one that made me walk home from school after a root canal.

Ya'll.

I am breathing so much easier since I made that phone call.

I am still upset that it is something that will have to happen. I wish I didn't have to put it off - to keep that low grade worry in the back of my mind - but I really think I'm making the right decision.

And I really have you to thank for that.

And I don't know how to thank you.

Thank you.

22 comments:

Pam said...

Wow! Who knew the power of virtual friendships? I'm glad you made this decision. You seem much more comfortable with the whole procedure now. Now, take a deep breath and focus on one thing at a time. Get through your first surgery and then worry about your tooth. And remember, all your bloggy friends will be with you every step of the way!

blueviolet said...

Well, I read this right after the other one so I'm glad to see you've decided to go to the safer route. Yes, it's more expensive, but there is no price on peace of mind and if the school messed it up, you'd always regret taking that chance.

And thank you for not doing back to back procedures. You don't need that at all.

Stalker v1.5 said...

Happy early birthday. Stopping by from SITS.

Housewife Savant said...

And I thought the unprecedented second post was going to Out the moron who wished you a Great Day.

This is a good idea. Yay for wise counsel.

I posted about you.
Read down. Way way down. In the little print... =)

Gibby said...

Lovin the blog world! And I have to ask, is your mom a member of the Mean Mommy Club like I am? Because taking you back to school after a root canal is up there...

mama-face said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Thank goodness you have taken the advice from your many dear friends, both real life and cyber. If you have questions about the Hyster. Surgery you know where to find me.

:)

MaryRC said...

you did the right thing, dental work can be traumatic. i have a very emotional tie to my teeth. they suck and just wanna fall out of my head no matter how hard i try to keep them in. a dentist you can trust is better than the pieholes you were experiencing.

Anita said...

I am so glad you changed your plans. I almost felt guilty after I posted that I would not have made that choice. I agree with your other friends, peace of mind and a better environment go a long way. I'm also glad you aren't doing these back to back....whew!
We will be there with you my dear, never fear.

Renee said...

Whew! I am so glad you are going with your original doctor. While a school can be good for some things, a back to back surgery is not on that list. And it is a traumatic ordeal! I would be very worried for you!

I hope your hysto goes well. And once you have recovered from that then you can be toothless for a while. My insurance agent had a flipper. It isnt so bad.

Good luck! I am thinking of you!

Hit 40 said...

I love my virtual friends!! I knew that I would need them after school started. Some of my co workers drive me nuts. Fun to come home to some good friends.

Blogging rocks!!

Hit 40 said...

oh...

I would have skipped the dentist school too! The money is worth it for quality work. I wouldn't skimp on my health. Good teeth make a difference to your overall health.

I would guess the school was OSU?? Bummer they were not more organized. The place is just huge. I have had my run around there too.

Melissa B. said...

*hugs* The Virtual World sometimes works wonders, oui?

BONNIE K said...

Well I read this post first, but I am glad you decided to cancel with the school. If they are that sloppy in every other part of what they do, you have to question their competence. You are going to have a bad few weeks, I'm afraid!

Jenni Jiggety said...

I am just catching up...but I agree with the internet!

Joanna Jenkins said...

OMG! It's late and I'm just getting to reading blogs tonight.

I am so glad you are going the right way with this. It will all payoff in the long run.

Hang in there and keep us posted so we can send extra love and support for the procedure.

xo

WhisperingWriter said...

This is why I love blogging. You get so much advice and love...

Melissa B. said...

PS: I think we're on the same SITS schedule. Must be something in the water?

Cassie said...

Glad you chose to go with the Dr that made you feel comfortable. :o)I was wondering what the hell you were thinking when you talked about going to the dental school. Hit me up with your snail mail address I have something I want to send you. cassiekiestler@yahoo.com

Cassie said...

Hey do you know there are over 500 Tammy Howards on FB. I can't find you. My last names Kiestler look for me there's only one :o)

Vivienne said...

Wow. Of all the days for me NOT to keep up with Mommakin. Hell to the no on the Herby the Dentist giving you an implant from the Island of Misfit Teeth. Thank goodness you aren't going there. Yes, yes, only money. (And mental health and PHYSICAL health.)

Recover from the first surgery first. Then schedule an appointment. Yipes.

I hear ya on the blogosphere offering up love, support and wisdom. That's good stuff, wherever it comes from.

Kathy B! said...

Well, I leave for a week and all sorts of crap is going down here.

I hope you are okay!! I'm going to keep reading backwards...

But I am glad you got the nudge you needed. And I think it is wonderful. I've gotten some fantastic help from my bloggy friends.

The Redhead Riter said...

I went to the dentist today to get my teeth cleaned and thought about you. I'm so glad you are not going to use the student dentists. Like you, I didn't have to wear braces and my teeth are straight and white (I feel very blessed). As I lay in the chair with my mouth wide open, I could not image you having surgery by a student in a place that is so cold and unfeeling. Ignore your mother! I can't believe she made you go to school!

So HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I gotta sing to you...
♫ ♪ ♫ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♫ ♪ ♫
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to Tammy!
Happy Birthday to you!
♫ ♪ ♫ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♫ ♪ ♫

So you are having a hysterectomy too?