Friday, November 27, 2009

When Black Friday Comes...

Black Friday. Folks love it and hate it and love to hate it and hate to love it. Folks avoid it like the plague and folks look forward to it all year. Folks have strong feelings about Black Friday.

My mom is among them. You know, the folks. The strong feeling folks. She falls very firmly into the pro camp. Lurves it, she does.

For the last decade or so my parents have been bringing Thanksgiving to me. My sister and I live in the same town, and my parents just find it easier to travel to us than to have us travel to them. We have Thanksgiving dinner at my sister's house, and while the dishes are still being washed, the sale flyers are being perused. For years it was my mom, my sister and I. We'd wake up early and stand in the lines and shop till we dropped and have coffee and breakfast and a couple years we even lasted until lunch.

My mom has made no secret about how much she cherishes this tradition.

Me? I don't usually end up shopping that much that day, but I do enjoy the time with my girl tribe. This year my sister had to work. My mom asked if I'd still go with her. Of course I would. You see, I'm the black sheep of the family. I made all the wrong choices and took all the wrong paths. You might say (if you were my mother) that I'm a giant mass of unfulfilled God-given potential. Now this was a moniker I may have rightfully laid claim to from the late 70's through the late 80's, but since then I've been pretty much an upstanding citizen. It doesn't matter. My role in the family has been cemented. I'm the loser, the nogoodnik, the ne'er do well. As such, I'm a woman pushing fifty who is still desperate to receive her parents' approval. I don't know if that makes me a loser or not, but it certainly makes me pitiful.

Anyway.

So my mom and I look through all of our ads, plotting our course. As we queued up at Target at 3:15 am I knew I was gaining favor. I didn't mind the dark or the cold or the little threats of snow - my mom was enjoying being just with me. As the day progressed, she had great luck shopping while I pushed the buggy and pointed her towards the proper sections of the stores. At one point she said, "I like just shopping with you. You do everything I suggest and you never say no." (for the record, it was similar behavior that caused me to fall out of favor a couple decades ago...)

I puppied out before she did, begging off to go home around 9:30. She took me home then picked my dad up and had him take her to a couple more stops. I was just waking up from my nap when she called to tell me she was done and to ask if I'd mind taking her to Barnes & Noble after dinner. Sure I will. I am, after all, just a girl who can't say no.

It may have been Black Friday, but for just one day, I got to be Golden.

I'll take it.

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42 comments:

Keeper of the Skies Wife said...

I'm glad you had fun with your mom....well, as much fun as you can have being the buggy pusher on little sleep. But you made your momma happy and that's all that counts!

Unknown said...

I loved this post. I was always seeking my parent's approval growing up. You see, 4th Sister was the "black sheep" and received all the attention from my parents (both good and bad) that little was left for me. I decided to be the "good girl" (with a hidden rebellious side that we won't go into here). I find I still crave approval but I stopped counting on ever receiving any accolades for who I am or for anything I've ever done. I'm glad you had this moment with your mom. It's as precious as gold.

pdkamath said...

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Formerly known as Frau said...

I don't blame you for wanting to shine just once in your Mom's eyes!

Cassie said...

From one black sheep to another, your day sounded great. Those times when you get to feel like the golden child are awesome.
Did you seriously not buy anything while you were out ????

Unknown said...

I can so feel ya on the black sheep. I was the baby and have always been labelled mom's favorite but never like them.. I think if possible mom and I got along theleast .. but ya know when times get bad it is always we black sheep that then to hold the herd together.. I did so when mom had to have hip replacement 2 x she lived with me.. umm yeah but I am the bad one of the bunch..

BONNIE K said...

You are such a good daughter. I could not have lasted 30 minutes doing this with my mother.

Charlene said...

I'd say you definitely get the "good daughter" award!!

Unknown said...

It's tough being a black sheep! That's bben me...the one who marches to a different drummer!

Unknown said...

funny how the black sheep turns out to be the one that everyone thinks has their sh*t together. i like that metamorphosis.

Badass Geek said...

I'm a bit of a black sheep, too, but I'm fine with that. I appreciate the way my parents raised me, but I've made my own choices and I'm stickin' to it.

Betty Manousos said...

Tammy, I'm glad to hear that you had that moment with your mom.
"Black sheep" it's hard being that.
Have a great week-end!
love
hugs hugs

MaryRC said...

its good to be the golden child once in a while. my hubs says ive become the high maint child, which i had no idea, until i stepped back and took a hard look this year. everyone feels they have to clean their house crazy, make special food and desperately find entertainment when im around apparently. because see (im the white sheep) everyone else is black and they dont know how to deal with it. they hide the booze, feel the need to prepare a meal instead of pizza, and hide the shot glasses and quarters. i remember my early white sheep days, preaching the gospel and pointing out all wrong doings, but i've relaxed alot the last 12 years and love my fam regardless, and a bit of my black sheep resurfaces in small doses and im okay with that. but like you, those are the cemented days, unfortunately.

Bibi @ Bibi's Culinary Journey said...

Don't we all in some level are looking for our parents approval no matter how old we get?

I am guilty of that. It is sad, but it's true. I am old grown up with family of my own and still deep in case I care what mom thinks.

My sister is the black sheet and she's the one who always got the attention of my parents and the one who never ever looked for an approval and somehow I think she is happier because of that.

It is nice to have a special time with your mom and find out that it's not as bad as you think.

Alexandra said...

Oh, honey! I think we're all seeking our parent approval, no matter what age. It's what parents are here for. To give approval.
Anyway, it's good that you had a good day.
3:15 am at Target? Really? Geez!
Alex

Mike said...

3:15??? You should just eat at Target!!!! LOL!!!

Mandy said...

I have NEVER done black friday shopping. My mom always had her Christmas shopping done before this crazy, Price is Right kind of day. I'm so happy you had your mom all to yourself and got to feel golden.

LMAO at you "always doing what was suggested" and "never saying no" being what made you the black sheep.

What's wrong with black? It's classic, it's tasteful and it's downright sexy and fun. Hmmm, that is you Tammy! :-)

Traci said...

I'm glad that you got your golden moment. I'm kinda the opposite -- I set my parents up to have high expectations for me. I was something of an overachiever and then, well, I peetered. Now I am something of an unfulfilled potential girl myself. So I feel you. Cherish those moments where you feel the appreciation. And carry them with you when it's not so obvious.
:-)

FranticMommy said...

Glad you had fun! Those times are precious. :)

Ginger said...

I understand the "pitiful" label. Me too. And no Black Friday for me..

Joanna Jenkins said...

It would have to be GUARANTEED parental approval to get me anywhere at 3:15 in the morning. You are a VERY good daughter Tammy!
xo

Melissa B. said...

My chicas are in the Pro camp, too. I'm definitely a stay-at-home-mom on Black Friday!

Sandy said...

I just can't picture you being the black sheep. But good on you for making headway to being the golden one.

For the record, I've only done one early Black Friday trip when one of the granddaughters wanted something (who remembers what) that was in short supply. First and last time.

Pam said...

I'm one of those who hate Black Friday (and love hating it, as well). You are a good daughter to do this with your mom. Glad you enjoyed spending time with her (and she with you).

Tracie said...

The line about the behavior causing you to be the black sheep? Brilliant! I'm glad you had a good time with your mom.

Macey said...

I get the chills and a fever just thinking about Black Friday. :)

Liz Mays said...

What? You were up at 3:15 am. You are a golden child, for real.

Becky said...

I loved this post too. I think we are always trying to seek our parents approval no matter how old we get.

Good Job Daughter! You made Mama happy, and spent the day together. (well..at least till 9:30:)

Jenn said...

Congrats for sticking it out so long! You definitely deserved Golden status. It should come with a gold star!

2Wired2Tired said...

Glad you had a nice time and that you really stuck it out for your mom. It sounds like she really appreciated it, which makes it fun for you too.

Thanks for visiting my blog awhile back. I like yours, am now following and looking forward to reading more.

Masala Chica said...

you are a really nice daughter. I am sad to say that no matter how much of a pleaser I am, you can't drag me anywhere near a target, or best buy, or walmart, oh heck - any store - on black friday.

I support the economy comfortably from my couch wit a cozy cup of coffee.

Grand Pooba said...

Aw, mother and daughter bonding over bargains. You can't be the blacksheep after that!

The Redhead Riter said...

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Claudya Martinez said...

3:15 in the morning makes you solid gold! Solid!

Anonymous said...

I should have known this would be an original Black Friday post. I love it. How sweet for you and for your mom!!

JennyMac said...

3:15? I applaud what I would never do. LOL. Black Friday...no thank you. But day after Christmas? Watch out.

Anonymous said...

I've always wanted to rush out early in the morning, but I haven't done it yet.

We hit the mall about 8 just to check out the scene. We bought a couple of things, but mostly just wanted to see what all teh fuss was about.

Carma Sez said...

Are you the younger child? I am also the black sheep in terms of not accomplishing much. My older sister can be a total beyooootch on the other hand and yet she somehow wins approval. "You do everything I suggest and never say no." Oh, how I can relate to that. Realized the other day at our pathetic thanksgiving celebration that I have pretty much spent half my life trying to keep everybody in the family happy. I'M DONE!!!

Alicia said...

awww i think you're always golden :) and that's great that you had such a great time with your mama....i'm sure it meant a lot to her too!

Mama-Face said...

Where are YOU? Are you okay??????

Loved this post. Of course. :) Family dynamics fascinate me. Parents love all of their children (almost always) but that most definitely doesn't mean each parent understands each child. I was probably what you would call the favored child; at least that's what I heard all the time...and I found it to be A LOT of pressure. I had my own resentments. Ah...I hope my children feel equally understood, but I'm sure they don't.

Besides, I do have a favorite child. And I will never say who.

prashant said...

you made your momma happy and that's all that counts!

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