Thursday, April 15, 2010

Honesty is Such a Lonely Word (and it's not well dressed, either)

I am not a sneaky person.

My parents might disagree with that statement - and they might have cause to. I didn't say "I have never been a sneaky person" I said "I am not a sneaky person".

Every now and then I give it a shot, though. Sneaky people always seem to be having so much fun. Plus, they get all the cool stuff. I want cool stuff. What's a non-sneaky gal to do?

When Tom and I were getting close to our wedding day, I was given a piece of sage advice for keeping a marriage happy: always hide the receipts. I never followed that advice because I knew I was marrying a man who wouldn't just pay the bills without question.

So I mended my plastic happy ways. For the most part. Because I knew I was accountable. Every now and then I'd have a brief relapse, and he never got angry with me - but he was disappointed. You just groaned, right? Because having someone you love be disappointed in you is WAY worse than having them be angry with you.

But even so, sometimes I would give in to the temptation to buy now, pay later.

I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.

I will gladly pay you next month for a wardrobe today.

I keep one charge card open - a Kohl's card - because - seriously - you get much better deals there when you have a card. And you can pay it off right at the register when you make a purchase - so you just use your card, get your discount, then pay it off with cash. What could possibly go wrong?

Ahem.

So anyway, short story longer than it needs to be, we had a little money and decided to pay off all the credit cards. "Including my Kohl's card?"

"Including your Kohl's card."

"Awesome," thought my trying so hard to be sneaky little mind. He has no idea how much is on that card. I'll go on one last shopping spree right before I pay it off with full permission. (Hi Tom. Love you. Mean it.) So this morning was the day. There were a few little road blocks on the way to Kohl's, but I wasn't gonna let them stop me - I powered through. Today was gonna be my own personal Bonus Buy!

I looked for shoes. I wanted the sort of neutral, casual, comfortable shoe you'd want to slip on every single day. What was I drawn to? Silver with chunky heels and embellishments... I knew I needed something practical, but the heart wants what it wants. And besides - I was already feeling sneaky and a little bit deliciously bad. Into the buggy they went.

Next stop? Clothing, of course. I tried on an armload and everything that would've been a maybe on a normal shopping day became a yes. This is sort of key. I didn't LOVE anything in my buggy. It was more - "I guess I'd wear that" than "I will cease to be able to find the will to breathe without that". You know - good enough.

Then on to jewelry. I found a few chunky pieces that delighted me and into the buggy they went.

On the way to the makeup counter to pick up some eyeliner - which I actually DID need - I encountered a rack with SALE dresses that I hadn't seen before. I picked up two and went into the dressing room, leaving my buggy outside as their signs tell me I must. I had to. It was a SALE. It said so in red and everything.

One of the dresses was fine. The other was pretty nice - summer sexy. I go to many events in the summer that require the sort of sexy chic that can only be acquired by shopping at Kohl's, so it seemed like a reasonable purchase. (I don't know if you can tell, but I wrote that last paragraph in sarcastic font. Blogger doesn't support it and conforms it to their preferred font, but it was intended to be sarcastic. Honest.)

I was still debating adding these two dresses to my pile when I walked out of my dressing room to find my buggy being systematically emptied by a Kohl's employee who didn't realize it belonged to someone. Um, ok, it was parked outside the dressing room and full of a variety of stuff, but, whatever. She was mortified when she saw the look on my face and offered to help me hunt everything down.

I declined.

It wasn't to be.

I put the ok dress and the sexy dress back on the rack, too.

I am not a sneaky person. When I try to be, the universe (or, you know, a Kohl's associate) steps in to keep me in line.

And my bill is paid off, fair and square.

That feels good.

But it doesn't feel as sexy as silver hottie shoes and a low cut black dress.

Sigh.

25 comments:

Eva Gallant said...

Bravo, I'm proud of you!

The Empress said...

Saved by the powers that be!

Awesome.

I LOVE your blog...

Anita said...

I hear ya sister, being a good girl isn't nearly as exciting, and well I don't have silver heels either!

carma said...

I would have taken that as a "sign" too - well done!!!

5thsister said...

Wow! Yeah, you better be paying attention to "signs" like that! But did you get your eyeliner?

MiMi said...

Sign, sign, everywhere are signs, blocking up the scenery breakin my mind...do this don't do that...woops.

Cheryl said...

When I get nudged by the universe I find it best to pay attention. Glad you did too. You rocked this one!

Tortuga said...

Sometimes things happen that upset us but are for our own good. Good girl for listening to the signs on this one. Besides, now your card is all paid off, no more guilt on that one. Perhaps a celebratory shopping trip?

Bossy Betty said...

Sometimes those Kohl's associated ARE the universe in disguise! I wish one of them would have taken a god-awful pair of pants I bought one day while high on sugar...

Mandy's Life After 30 said...

Damn, was that associate named "Karma?" What a bitch she was! ;-) Still, I bet it feels a little bit good to be clean and sober of your Kohl's addiction.

Badass Geek said...

It just wasn't in the cards.

Pun intended.

elastamom.com said...

I agree...it wasn't meant to be! You should only buy things you LOVE, silly!!

Rosa said...

I want to know why MY laptop doesn't have a 'sarcastic font'!!! Heaven knows I'd put it to good use. Sorry the universe interfered w/ your silver hottie shoes. Sometimes the universe bites.

I'm Jane said...

Aw. It's for the best though. Those super-cute silver shoes would have inevitably hurt your feet and made you feel guilty every time you wore them. Shoe karma sucks.

sitting on the mood swing at the playground said...

Yep, I would have believed it was a sign...not the sign I wanted but a sign nonetheless.

Pam said...

Congrats for getting the card paid off. That probably feels better than any sexy summer dress with hottie silver shoes. Well maybe....

Unknown Mami said...

Damn, that interfering Universe!

Joanna Jenkins said...

I love that you came clean about your almost shopping spree :-)

Happy weekend Tammy,
xo

Cheryl said...

Hi Tammy, I just wanted to let you know that I have a little something for you over at my place when you get a chance to visit.

黃郁順 said...

乳交挑逗淫婦色情俱樂部成人色情成人影片視訊網愛聊天室免費色情網情色區火辣美女情色性愛成人影音聊天成人色情網站全裸美女圖片成人裸照sex辣妹裸體美女全裸圖成人區av女情色內容情色自拍貼圖成人色情網性愛論壇一對多性伴侶成人聊天室撫摸淫美成人論壇女人奶頭女生自慰影片台灣女優美女視訊一絲不掛一夜正妹成人影像巨乳大奶子情色性愛貼圖情色王國做愛視訊火辣情色台灣情色網情色聊天網性愛技巧淫娃情色成人巨乳辣妹性愛知識性經驗

Vivienne said...

Yep. Signs point to No Shopping.
Dissapointed husbands...
Mentally challenged Kohl's associates....
Not actually finding anything you loved....

I love it when the universe steps in to save you from yourself!

Sandy said...

Being debt-free is a very freeing feeling.....good for you!

gayle said...

That's so funny!! It just brought to mind a few times when my husband and I first got married and we went to Wal Mart....filled up our buggy and then decided we didn't need it!!

Gibby said...

Oh man, I am not sneaky, either. But I am sort of a baby and probably would have stopped at the bookstore or Starbucks on the way home, rationalizing that since I didn't spend any money at Kohl's surely I can get a book or a coffee...

MaryRC said...

so many times ive walked around a store grabbing and grabbing then the guilt hits and i put it all back..
no use in being sneaky..