Honesty is Such a Lonely Word (and it's not well dressed, either)

I am not a sneaky person.

My parents might disagree with that statement - and they might have cause to. I didn't say "I have never been a sneaky person" I said "I am not a sneaky person".

Every now and then I give it a shot, though. Sneaky people always seem to be having so much fun. Plus, they get all the cool stuff. I want cool stuff. What's a non-sneaky gal to do?

When Tom and I were getting close to our wedding day, I was given a piece of sage advice for keeping a marriage happy: always hide the receipts. I never followed that advice because I knew I was marrying a man who wouldn't just pay the bills without question.

So I mended my plastic happy ways. For the most part. Because I knew I was accountable. Every now and then I'd have a brief relapse, and he never got angry with me - but he was disappointed. You just groaned, right? Because having someone you love be disappointed in you is WAY worse than having them be angry with you.

But even so, sometimes I would give in to the temptation to buy now, pay later.

I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.

I will gladly pay you next month for a wardrobe today.

I keep one charge card open - a Kohl's card - because - seriously - you get much better deals there when you have a card. And you can pay it off right at the register when you make a purchase - so you just use your card, get your discount, then pay it off with cash. What could possibly go wrong?

Ahem.

So anyway, short story longer than it needs to be, we had a little money and decided to pay off all the credit cards. "Including my Kohl's card?"

"Including your Kohl's card."

"Awesome," thought my trying so hard to be sneaky little mind. He has no idea how much is on that card. I'll go on one last shopping spree right before I pay it off with full permission. (Hi Tom. Love you. Mean it.) So this morning was the day. There were a few little road blocks on the way to Kohl's, but I wasn't gonna let them stop me - I powered through. Today was gonna be my own personal Bonus Buy!

I looked for shoes. I wanted the sort of neutral, casual, comfortable shoe you'd want to slip on every single day. What was I drawn to? Silver with chunky heels and embellishments... I knew I needed something practical, but the heart wants what it wants. And besides - I was already feeling sneaky and a little bit deliciously bad. Into the buggy they went.

Next stop? Clothing, of course. I tried on an armload and everything that would've been a maybe on a normal shopping day became a yes. This is sort of key. I didn't LOVE anything in my buggy. It was more - "I guess I'd wear that" than "I will cease to be able to find the will to breathe without that". You know - good enough.

Then on to jewelry. I found a few chunky pieces that delighted me and into the buggy they went.

On the way to the makeup counter to pick up some eyeliner - which I actually DID need - I encountered a rack with SALE dresses that I hadn't seen before. I picked up two and went into the dressing room, leaving my buggy outside as their signs tell me I must. I had to. It was a SALE. It said so in red and everything.

One of the dresses was fine. The other was pretty nice - summer sexy. I go to many events in the summer that require the sort of sexy chic that can only be acquired by shopping at Kohl's, so it seemed like a reasonable purchase. (I don't know if you can tell, but I wrote that last paragraph in sarcastic font. Blogger doesn't support it and conforms it to their preferred font, but it was intended to be sarcastic. Honest.)

I was still debating adding these two dresses to my pile when I walked out of my dressing room to find my buggy being systematically emptied by a Kohl's employee who didn't realize it belonged to someone. Um, ok, it was parked outside the dressing room and full of a variety of stuff, but, whatever. She was mortified when she saw the look on my face and offered to help me hunt everything down.

I declined.

It wasn't to be.

I put the ok dress and the sexy dress back on the rack, too.

I am not a sneaky person. When I try to be, the universe (or, you know, a Kohl's associate) steps in to keep me in line.

And my bill is paid off, fair and square.

That feels good.

But it doesn't feel as sexy as silver hottie shoes and a low cut black dress.

Sigh.