Monday, July 27, 2009

The Bo Bice Incident

I've alluded to The Bo Bice Incident on a few occasions. I have never told the story here before, but perhaps it's time. With the Week of a Thousand Bands looming before me, I've been thinking about concerts past at the venues I'll be visiting. Saturday, when I FINALLY get to see Alice Cooper, I'll be doing so at the Ohio State Fair. The last time I saw a concert at the fair...

But wait.

I'm getting ahead of myself.

A little back story is in order.

I don't watch reality TV.

(What never? No never. Never ever? Well - hardly ever!)

I've never seen 'Survivor' or 'The Bachelor' or 'Big Brother' or even 'The Amazing Race'. I did watch the first go 'round of 'Joe Millionaire'. I am not proud of that. I am really really really not proud of that. But I'm being honest here, and I didn't want "I don't watch reality TV" to come off as high-falutin' in any way. It's just not my cup of tea. (I did watch celebreality on VH-1 for a couple seasons - not terribly proud of that, either). I didn't watch 'American Idol', though I did enjoy both seasons of 'Rock Star'.

Let me amend that.

I didn't watch season 1 of 'American Idol'. Or 2. Or 3. But for some reason, I watched season 4. I guess the planets were aligned just right or something, I don't know. Maybe it's because it was around the same time as 'Rock Star: INXS' was ending and I'd been addicted to that and needed to fill the void. I don't really remember the whys, but I watched season 4 from day 1.

And I liked Bo Bice. He was my vehicle, baby.

Flash forward to the following summer. 'Saving Jane' was warming up for Bo Bice at the State Fair. My girls loved 'Saving Jane' and wanted to go to see them. My girls were pre-adolescent at the time and the song Girl Next Door spoke to them. Heck, it spoke to me, too. But they didn't want to stay for Bo Bice.

That was ok. I was pretty much over him and was a little bit embarrassed about having been as obsessed with 'American Idol' as I had been. It wasn't the first time I'd bought tickets for a show because I liked the opening band more than the headliner.

'Saving Jane' was great, and the girls were so happy. They were also so DONE. We had had a long day at the fair before the concert. Both girls were tired ALMOST to the point of tears. It was time to go. As we made out way out, the lights went down and Bo took the stage. We were in the hallway leading out of the venue, but could still see in. He opened with Vehicle. And my knees went weak.

I stopped in my tracks and, if my family is to be believed, pulled my hair and screamed, "I LOVE YOU BO!" then mumbled repeatedly, "So much pretty. So so pretty." The kids were no longer on the verge of tears, but I guess I was. Squealy fangirl tears. What Frankie referred to in 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show' as an orgasmic rush of lust. Now they just didn't know what the hell to do. They were stunned silent. They looked back and forth between Tom and I.

"Do we need to - stay?" my husband inquired. He knew that look, and I think he might've been hoping the after effects would still be in effect when we got home, nudge nudge, wink wink. "Do YOU need to stay? I could take the kids to the car..."

He was looking quite bewildered at his point.

He expected this sort of behavior with Joe Perry.

He expected this sort of behavior with Roger Daltry.

But Bo Bice? Really?

I didn't understand it, either.

I shook my head in the negative and we headed for the car. Both girls opted to hold hands with him. I think I freaked them out pretty badly. No child should have to see their momma in the throes of squealy fangirl bliss. I followed with my head bowed in shame, feeling a little numb.

After that, any time we heard a Bo Bice song, or saw him on TV, or even heard his name mentioned I could count on at least one of my beloved family members to pull their own hair and say "so much pretty!" Luckily for me, Bo never became what you might want to call omnipresent.

They've probably forgotten it by now.

I haven't.

Crap, two out of three of 'em read this blog.

I'm screwed.

See what I do to entertain you people?

It's probably not too early to start reminding myself: Alice Cooper is just a man. Alice Cooper is just a man. Alice Cooper is just a man...

ETA: Lea wanted to clarify her tears - I figured that was her story to tell, so I glossed over it. She wanted to tell it and did so here.

26 comments:

The Redhead Riter said...

Funny!

Stopping by to give a little blog ♥

Unknown Mami said...

I am shocked & amused.

Noah's Mommy said...

hahahahaha.....if Bo Bice only knew......at least there was no bra or undies flying anywhere....

blueviolet said...

Is it the long hair? For me, it's the gritty voice. Any singer with a gritty voice and I'm weak in the knees.

MiMi said...

Oh geez, "so much pretty?" That's freakin' hilarious. He was pretty cute, but his hair was da bomb.
I thought his voice was good! You should'a stayed Tammy, should'a stayed. :)
Macey

WhisperingWriter said...

Haha.

I admit, I'm a reality show junkie. Although I cannot watch the ones on VH1. They scare me.

the girl with the pink teacup said...

OK, I have to confess that I needed to Google who Bo Bice actually was... (I claim 'ignorant foreigner' status.) But 'so much pretty' does seem to hit the nail on the head. You can't be held accountable for your squealy fangirl actions under such a cloud of lust. I'm pretty sure the French allow some kind of legal defence for "crimes of passion", so it's only fair that French law should be extended to your situation, too. And possibly counselling offered to all witnesses of said squealy fangirl crime.

I can't wait to see what happens with Alice Cooper...

Simon said...

You should be congratulated on your honesty in admitting to your problem, and my heart goes out to your husband and children for their ability to cope with such an upsetting event; it must have been very difficult for them.

SparkleFarkle said...

LOL! Swooning becomes you! I remember the first time I saw Bo Bice Idoling. As I tried to catch my breath, I thought what a perfect second choice-name, since "Fabio" was already taken. LOL! If Bo ever needs to susidize his income, I feel he'd do well as a romance novel cover model. Strike the pose, Bo-man, strike the pose!

Thanks for another fun read!

Keeper of the Skies Wife said...

That is too funny!!

Anita said...

What a great story! I'm not a Bo Bice fan, but I've had those feelings for other rock stars. Forgive me but Rod Stewart can still give me the chills...........I know he's old and skinny and British, but oh well!

Alex the Girl said...

Not a big reality fan either, but my daughter is a BIG AI fan. I sat through it for the season Chris Daughtry was on, and girl, let me tell you...He had me hook...line...and sinker. I can so get the squealy fan girl deal you succumbed to when you heart Bo Bice because I would SO be there losing every shred of dignity in the process.

Every.

Shred.

Melissa B. said...

A similar thing happens to me when I see James Taylor...which has only, so far, been on TV. I have been known to squeal like a little girl and do a little dance and generally freak out. Lord knows what I'd ever do if I were at a concert...

linda said...

So funny!

I think I know who Bo Bice is...I don't watch reality TV either and I've never watched American Idol. I can't stand to watch people get slammed by Simon!

Gibby said...

Um...my dad got me the Bo Bice CD for Christmas that year. I, however, never had an episode such as yours, thank God!

And I love that show Rockstar! I wish they could do it again. It's so much better than American Idol.

carma said...

You and Bo - I never would have guessed. Oh, but he is pretty ;-)

P.S. we have a Bo Bice CD if you would like to borrow it :D It got stuck in our CD player, but when we sent it to the manufacturer for repair, they were kind enough to send us the CD back, not that it has been listened to since!

Kathy B! said...

All I can say is, "At least you kept your underpants on!"

I hate it when fans throw undergarments. That's just gross.

And you have the best stories :)

Pam said...

Oh my goodness! That is too funny! I can just picture the scene. I would do the exact same thing if I was ever in the presence of one of my celebrity crushes. Too funny that Tom was hoping to benefit from the after effects. My husband would have been thinking the exact same thing. Men!

AB HOME Interiors said...

LMOA!!! HAHAHA that is too funny. I think I WOULD die if my mother freaked out like that!

mommy4life said...

Thanks for stopping by today. My girls would probably have screamed are run away in embarrassment!

JennyMac said...

Great story...and its not the hair for me...at all. But I do love a fantastic singer.

Joanna Jenkins said...

"....in the throes of squealy fangirl bliss"

Oh honey, you will never live that one down.

GREAT post!!!

Yaya said...

Hahahahaha!!!! This is great!!!!


Oh and I love reality tv, you're missing out!

Jenny Penny said...

Did you really say that!? So much pretty? That's hilarious. By the way, I am not a reality TV person either, but I did catch the Bo Bice seaons. And I did fall for him, too. So much pretty....

Housewife Savant said...

I'm not surprised by your behavior at all.

I look EXACTLY like Alice when I step out of the shower.
I So Rock the AC look.


This is WAY better than black font on black. Keep this. =)

Vivienne said...

HAAAAAAAAAAA! I leaned more towards Carrie Underwood, but did enjoy Mr. Bice.
I am frequently more interested in the opening band as well. Bauhaus opening for NIN a few years ago comes to mind...