Friday, July 10, 2009

You Always Knew Eating This Stuff Would Lead to No Good

A couple weeks ago I noticed that the Playland was gone from our local McDonald's. Shortly thereafter, their sign stated that a new Playland would be opening in July. As my kids have long outgrown the usefulness of McDonald's Playland, I didn't pay much attention. (If it doesn't directly affect me, it can't be all that important, right?)

The other day I drove by and their sign said, "New Playland Open!" I decided to drive around the front to take a look. This particular McDonald's is in the same parking lot as my grocery store and I usually drive in behind it. I know I didn't owe you an explanation, but I realized I was making it sound like I spent a LOT of time at McDonald's, which is totally not true. I don't even like double cheeseburgers. And my kids hate milkshakes. Ginormous Diet Cokes for $1? I wouldn't know anything about that. And it's none of your damn business, anyway, so stop judging me!

I couldn't believe what I saw.

Gone were the bright primary colors and happy statues of the old Playland and in its stead was this:


McPrison.

I guess the Hamburglar is tired of playing second fiddle.

The family and I started thinking of new Happy Meal possibilities:

- a metal file in every meal!

- an 'Oz' tie-in promotion!

- Madame Alexander Dolls resembling famous criminals for the girls and Hot Wheels resembling famous get-away cars for the boys! Collect 'em all!

Really, McDonald's. I know eating this stuff is not good for you, but as far as I know it isn't a CRIME (yet).

*** Lea took this picture for me. She said, "Wouldn't it be funny if we got arrested for stalking the McDonald's playground? Maybe they'd make us spend the night in Playland". We all shuddered and moved on quickly.

18 comments:

Melissa B. said...

McPrison. I think it fits, don't you? Our family vacation is coming up soon, so I will be making at least one journey to Mickey D's. One per year is all I can take. Although I do collect Happy Meal toys for the windowsill in my classroom. I give the kids extra credit...shameless!

WhisperingWriter said...

Oh, we're big fans of McDonalds here. We never eat inside though. I always just go through the drivethru. I love the large $1 sweet teas.

MiMi said...

Oh, that IS creepy. Someday's I'd risk jail for that $1 diet coke though. : )

Rocksee said...

A McPrison.. that's too great.. It is a prison for fat kids who can't fit inside all of the slides and tubes..

Painful child memory.. hahaha

the girl with the pink teacup said...

*shudder*

McPrison. Awesome.

If McDonald's ever decides to re-brand, I think you should wait by the phone, Tammy!

I agree with Rocksee, though - the playgrounds were kind of prison-like even in the days when they were still all primary coloured and what-not.

And Lea's comment... GENIUS.

scrappysue said...

i love the way the tube is just hanging there in mid-air!

FranticMommy said...

McPrison! Maybe they're subtly telling people it's dang near a crime to eat all that fatty food!

Alex the Girl said...

Better start eating the happy meals so I can get some of those uber happy meal toys, huh? And for the record, I hate their grilled chicken sandwiches on those horrible wheat buns of theirs...and I'd rather be caught dead than eating the crispiest fries in fast food history. And my kids? They NEVER are indulged with a 4 piece nugget meal even though they had lunch before we left the house...EVER!!!

Your writing skills have taken a turn to the snarcatic! Savant rubbing off on you?

SparkleFarkle said...

McWhoa! I can't imagine having to "spend time" at McDonalds! LOL! I love your family's speculation/insight regarding the new McClink! LOL! Sounds like something my daughter, Puppet, and I would be up to, if we'd come across such a McRedo. LOL! SMITCH OF A CHANGE IN SUBJECT: I've been thinking about your title-less "story Thursdays" and have, so far, come up with one idea for its weekly caption. It's kinda corny/quirky, but I like it. See what you think: So, your name being Tammy and you being the story teller, how about a take-off on the old Sandra Dee/John McGavin movie, Tammy Tell Me True? You could change it up to read "Tammy Tell Me Truths" and use an image from the film for easy, reader identification.(possibly THIS or a crop-up of the original 60s movie poster.) The poster claim, "Learn'...Livin' and Lovin," could even be implemented as a subtitle, if you want! Meanwhile, I'll keep my thinking cap on.

Vivienne said...

McPrison is appropriate. I see several people a day, walking around and they are obviously living their lives in McChains.

Yaya said...

McPrison! Hahaha!

Debbie said...

I love their $1 teas too! But that playground looks a little ominous.

carma said...

The fun is sucked out of just about everything these days. Did I just read that your kids don't like milkshakes???

Unknown Mami said...

That is hilarious. I started reading your post and literally thought, "I can't believe Tammy stalks Mcdonald's." Do they have a solitary confinement section? Don't act like you don't know.

Melissa B. said...

BTW, tomorrow I'm hosting my weekly Silly Sunday Sweepstakes, and some real prizes are involved this time. Please tune in!

mama-face said...

Ha. I LOVE that you explained your position on McDonalds. It's so taboo to admit to liking McD's. Of course, I hate it. But there's nothing wrong with liking the french fries, is there? I've exhausted that point.

I would pay happy meal money for that madame alexander doll.

I also LOVE that us people take our cameras everywhere...never know what you might see. :)

Kathy B! said...

I have a certain, ahem, connection to McDonald's. That connection wants to know, specifically, what it is that is prison-like. Not in a confrontational way, but in an, um, market-research/information gathering sorta way...

Help me out on this one, Tammy!!

Keeper of the Skies Wife said...

You crack me up!!

I haven't eaten at a McDonald's in at least 4 years. I loved Franticmommy's comment....I so agree with her.

McPrison indeed.