Stronger Every Day

I find that I'm able to do a little more every day, and I appreciate each little new accomplishment, but none so much as this: this week I was able to crochet a little bit. Now, just to clarify, I am fully aware of how ridiculous this sounds, but I have missed yarn so. much. I can't knit yet, too much bilateral involvement there, but I can crochet. It's slow, and I can't go forever, but dammit, yarn is passing through my fingers again, and I feel a lot more like myself.

Walk This Way

My attention has turned, in the last couple days, to getting myself back in shape. My doc wants me to be moving my arm more, and doing so has made me concentrate on what I can do, as opposed to what I can't. And I can do a little more each day. I appreciate every little step to a degree that is probably unreasonable.

As far as fitness, one thing I can do is walk. Yesterday was a big walking day for me. Amy (my trainer and friend) offered to take me to Blacklick Park to walk. This is absolutely my favorite place to walk, so I was thrilled to have the opportunity. Amy was teaching a "Boot Camp" type class and I was free to walk for 2 hours. I was very slow and I took a few breaks, but I was able to get 3 miles in. Before you scoff at that, remember that one short week ago it was a big feat to dry my hair and sit in a restaurant for a couple hours. So, as far as minor accomplishments go, this was major.

It was a perfect evening in the park. It was warm and sunny (but not hot). Two deer crossed my path. Not unusual, but it doesn't happen every day. The honeysuckle was in full bloom, lightly fragrancing the night air. Many early wildflowers were beginning to bloom. It was truly, truly lovely.

I wish I could've walked further, but the edema in my hand had gotten so bad that I thought my skin was going to burst. (hey - it can't ALL read like a Disney movie) Also my back and feet were hurting. I've spent the last month basically in a chair! This is not a huge surprise! When I start bringing in money again, first purchase is a couple new pairs of walking shoes.

In keeping with the walking theme of the day, I registered yesterday for the New Albany Walking Classic in September. This is a really lovely 10K that I've participated in for the past 2 years. This year they've added a half-marathon. I'm just going to do the 10K again this year, but I'm hoping that with some training I can be prepared for the half-marathon in a year or two. My original goal had been a marathon by the time I was 50, but that's only 5 (4 1/2) years away and I'm still significantly overweight. So I'm gonna alter that goal a little and say half-marathon in a year or two and take it from there. We shall see.

Loooking Gooood!

Well, I don't know how clear this pic is, but this is the basic set-up. I think you can see how swollen my hand is, too. I'm wearing my basic uniform - a super large men's muscle shirt (thank you, Johnna!) cut down the side and pinned back together. Very chic. Hey, at least this week we've managed to add a bra to the ensemble (thank you, Mom).

I'm actually feeling a lot better, for the most part. Today I got a shower, then Tom took me out to lunch and to Barnes & Noble. This little outing wore me right out! I went home and crashed hard for about 2 hours. Earlier in the week, Wendy took me out for Cinco de Mayo, with a similar result. It's just been nice to escape the confines of this house (that gets a little messier ever day) for a little while.

I'm feeling so much better in general, that the pain catches me by surprise, now. I'm very uncomfortable getting in and out of the car, for example. But much worse than that are the showers - more specifically - getting dressed after the showers. Because the brace is hard plastic, I am allowed to shower in it - so up till then, it's good. But after my shower we have to remove the brace, take off the "sleeve", dry my arm, put on a new "sleeve", and replace the brace. This sounds so simple, but it's still really quite painful. Then while it's still hurting, we commence with the process of getting clothing between the brace and my torso. It's a lot harder than it sounds. I will never take these things for granted again. Except, I totally will, right? Because that's how we do.

It's Like Rain on Your Wedding Day

I'm starting to feel a little like that guy in the old Twilight Zone sketch who just wanted time to read - then got infinite time and infinite books and broke his glasses. Before my accident I was so stressed my hair was falling out. I was - as I mentioned in a previous post - trying to do everything and not doing anything well. Then everything came to a sudden, jarring stop. Now I find myself with no obligations, responsible for nothing. The catch is, I can't actually DO anything that would lead me to enjoy or even appreciate this newfound leisure. Isn't it ironic?

All You Zombies Show Your Faces

I got a new splint/brace yesterday that leaves me resembling a Storm Trooper. The huge advantage to the new set up is that I'm a lot more comfortable standing and I can sit comfortably in chairs without armrests. The disadvantage is that pretty much every other position has become exceedingly uncomfortable. So now I get around better, but I can't find a position in which to relax. I feel like a zombie, shuffling around aimlessly. Seeking braaaaiiiiinnnnsssss.....

Which segues nicely into the next topic I wanted to discuss: socialization. Well, it's a good segue because in my humble opinion, socialization without intellect (braaaiiinnns) isn't worth much. And I'm STARVING for some. Tom is occupied with the business of taking care of me, himself, the kids, his job and the house - he hasn't had much time for small talk. Lea is convinced I'm "being lazy" and could really be doing more around here if I put my mind to it. I'm "just using" this injury as an excuse to make her do all the work. I love my daughter, so I won't bother explaining how completely ludicrous this assertion is. Olivia tries to play with me, but hasn't found me to be a very fun playmate. A good deal of our play together still consists of dressing and undressing dolls, and I'm at a place where I just wish I could manage to dress and undress myself. My mother calls several times a day and keeps me somewhat sane (until she starts preaching - then I tend to zone). My sister has called twice. My sisters friend has made the bulk of our dinners (taking some of the burden away from Tom). And that? Is about it.

The lack of human contact in a time when I'm so desperate for it has caused me to go all introspective and I can't find much that I like. Perhaps an extended convalescence will afford me the opportunity to figure out what I can do about that. 8 weeks without driving has pretty much rendered me housebound - I had to give up both jobs for 2 months - they may or may not be waiting for me when I'm ok again. It's a good opportunity, I suppose, to slow down and figure things out.

An Arm of One

Last Sunday while schlepping pizzas I slipped and, in one of those split seconds that change everything, broke my left humerus. I was working with 2 young 'uns and they were both out back havin' a smoke. I laid on the floor and screamed (to anyone who would listen), "I've been hurt badly! Someone please help me!" "Please help me" has become a sort of mantra throughout the whole ordeal. More on that later. Some Good Samaritan customers came around the counter and to my rescue. They called Tom, Jackie (one of my bosses) and "the squad". I took my first ambulance ride and Tom and Jackie met me at the hospital.

They were authorized to give me 5 units of morphine but after 2 I broke out in hives. I was informed that the answer to "do you have any drug allergies?" is no longer "not that I'm aware of". With morphine out of the picture, they went to percoset. I couldn't tell you if it helped with the pain or not, it made me nauseous in a productive and most unpleasant manner. Heaving uncontrollably was way too jarring on my freshly broken bone, so I requested something milder. A prescription was written for vicadin, which I was told was usually pretty well tolerated. Usually. I actually tripped on it for a little while before the, uh, productive nausea manifested again. Now I came of age in the late 70's, early 80's (and all that that implies). When and how did I become such a chemical lightweight? Anyway, pain management since day 2 has consisted of acetaminophen and ice packs.

But more frustrating than the pain is the dependence. Due to the location of the break, casting is impossible, so I just have a splint. Every time I stand up or move, I need to support my left arm with my right hand - to not do so is exceedingly painful. Ask me how I know. So, given all this, I'm pretty limited in what I can do independently. Really limited. Think about it. So Tom (and, to a lesser extent, the girls) need to be enlisted to complete the most mundane (and personal) tasks. Although they (for the most part) have complied without complaint whenever I've asked, it doesn't make asking any easier. Very humbling, this experience.

Well, one handed typing while trying to hold the computer on my lap has exhausted me, so I'll save my tales of social woe for another posting.