So, as an adopted person, I was prone, as many adopted people are, to fantasizing about my natural parents. I came up with many wild exotic scenarios wherein I was the center of a lot of drama and angst. Many of them involved celebrities. As I got older, I realized that the truth was probably more mundane, and that made me a little sad. But a whole lot of what happens when one gets older makes one sad, so the fit was pretty good.
Two years ago at a concert I had a thunderbolt realization that Iggy Pop was just about the right age to have fathered me. I entertained that one for a little while, just because it made me so ridiculously giddy.
David Sedaris is such an amazing writer that he has convinced me, on more than one occasion, that I really did grow up in his family. I've often blamed Mr. Sedaris for my weight problems. If he were only more prolific, certainly I would have a stronger core. No - seriously - it makes sense - stick with me on this one. Every time he releases a new book, I devour it in one session and I laugh so hard that my abs still hurt three days later. If he would see fit to release something every three or four days, I'd have abs of steel. Selfish bastard, only churning something out every year or so. It's like he doesn't even care about my soft middle.
Anyway, since he has convinced me that I am indeed the Secret Sedaris Sibling, is it any wonder that I chose to channel his (our???) sister Amy when my daughter came to me with a crafting request?
Lea had just purchased this skirt from Hot Topic. She liked it so much that she wanted another tutu type skirt, but she wanted one in pink. "We have some pink tulle in the basement, and I have a little time on my hands", I informed her. (And there it is, folks. I am the sort of person who has yardage of pink tulle on hand, just in case. That is pathetic? sad? awesome? I don't know. It just is.)
"Let's do it! Shazamm!" she responded with an enthusiasm that made me a little nervous. What if I couldn't come through? Then I gave internal voice to those five little words that have gotten me through many a crafting crisis: What Would Amy Sedaris Do? Amy would make a damn skirt out of materials already available in the house and a glue gun. And it would rock. Speak to me, Amy, I'm listening.
This is what we came up with; Lea, Amy and I:
Cute, right? If you want to know how we did it (and see more pics) I posted my how-to's here.
I like to think Iggy Pop's real granddaughters would approve.