Sunday, August 16, 2009

Randomness and a Winner

I heard you missed me, I'm back. I brought my pencil - er - netbook. Give me somethin' to write on...

I'm looking forward to visiting with everyone this week, which is really the only thing I'm looking forward to upon returning home. Away = Good; Home = Suck. But hey! Time for the interwebs! So it's not all bad.

First order of business - a winner of the pay it forward giveaway has been drawn. A couple days later than I promised, but I wanted to include pics of the drawing to keep it on the up and up and, as I mentioned, for some reason neither Tom nor I can figure out, I can't download pictures on the road, even though I have all the same equipment with me. He actually used that as a selling point when I was so bummed about coming home, "But when you get home, you can download your pics!" Always look on the bright side of life. (this is the part where I whistle...)

So without further ado:
We decided to do the drawing on the boardwalk in front of the casino, since a drawing is SORT of like a gamble, even though you don't really have anything to lose. Also because we were in Atlantic City so we could.

We put everyone's name on a slip of paper, but then couldn't decide what to draw it from. Pink was along for the ride, so we put her to use. Practical AND beautiful - is there anything that owl can't do? Lea is pretty cute, too.

A wider view of the boardwalk.

Turn around 180 degrees to this.

Pick a good one, Liv!


Savant is a wiener! (I always suspected as much) Congrats, Savant! I'll send you an email soon to clear up the deets.

And in birthday news, today is Tom's birthday. He got to spend it driving from Atlantic City to Uh-hi-uh. Try not to be jealous of his amazing good fortune. At this moment, we are sitting still in traffic somewhere in West Virginia. See? Everything about going home blows.

If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, you'll find out firsthand what it's like to be me. (yeah, my angsty teen and tween are into My Chemical Romance. What can I say? It's a good lyric.) So I've written about weight and weight issues before (sigh). This weekend we went to Tom's HS reunion. I was nervous because I so hate the way I look and I didn't want it to reflect badly on him. I spent weeks trying to convince myself it didn't matter, but it always does. I can't tell you how many times I thought about bagging it. But go I did. I was so nervous. Meeting people has been scary for me ever since I gained the weight (before I put it on, meeting people was my favorite favorite). But I went and I quickly downed some liquid courage and before long it didn't matter if I was cute or not because I was having so much fun. Switched from vodka to rum and found myself doing the Time Warp (again). Next morning a lot of people had posted pics on Facebook and I was all, "Oh my SHIT I'm fat!" (Also - drunk doesn't look as good as it feels. Frack.) But you know what? The bottom line is that I DID have fun, a LOT of fun, actually, and if anyone judged me OR Tom because of it, I didn't know about it. (And I usually do know or at least suspect - there's a certain paranoia that comes along with hating how one looks.) Maybe I'm the one who needs to become less judgmental. If I'd let my insecurities keep me in I would've missed a really good time.

I just spent two weeks in Eastern PA and South Jersey and didn't even make an ATTEMPT to hook up with any of the people I TRULY MISS because I am so embarrassed about how I look. How freakin' dumb was that? Cut off my nose to spite my (ridiculously round) face.

Workin' on accepting who and what I am. Baby steps, baby steps.

Well, back to the grind. In as much as my life of leisure can be considered a grind. The laundry will wait, unpacking will wait, groceries will wait - I wanna see The Time Traveler's Wife. (Maybe that explains all the time jumps in this post. Am I home? Am I at the beach? Am I on the road in West Virginia? - yep, that's it. Time travel. I'm all of those places and more.) And download a bunch of pictures. I wonder why nothing ever gets done around here? Weird.

11 comments:

Sandy said...

Congratulations Savant.....way to go to make it look legit, Tammy. :-) The girls are cute.

I'm sitting here re-reading your post with you beating yourself up and wondering how you would respond to such a post from one of us whom you regularly read and comment on. I'm not sure but I'm pretty certain you'd say something like "it's really not that important...if anyone judges you or Tom by what you weigh, eff 'em."

But I understand 'cause I've gained a few pounds over the last couple years after never having had a weight problem and it doesn't make me happy. Doesn't make me unhappy enough to do anything about it yet, either, so I got no advice. I guess the important question is, are you healthy? Are you happy? If either of the answers is NO, I guess you need to get motivated and do something about it. But other than that, need I remind you....Beauty is in the eye of the beholder?

MiMi said...

Congrats to Kel! You (kel) suck! Just kidding, I love HS and I love mommakin so I couldn't possibly be sad about her winning something you make! :)
Anyway, I'm feeling so bad for you because you were feeling bad about your weight.
First off, I saw some pics of you because you were tagged on reunion pics on FB, and you look beautiful, so be quiet! You do, you look fab, and you are wearing bright, summery colors which is even better because you have dark hair and the colors look great with it!
And, this couldn't come at a better time, I posted a vlog, and I've been stressing ever since. I hate looking at myself, and even worse when it's in video, but I wanted to do one for my blog friend Sarah, so there it is.
I just can't quit thinking about how fat I am.
Anyway, yes, go see Time Traveler's Wife, it was good!
And tell me what you think about sticking to the story line. I have such bad judgement on that, cuz I forget a lot even though I JUST read the book.
Also, I just remembered something I was gonna say: My husband and I go into a store and one of our classmates will recognize HIM and not me. Ya know why? Because I'm so fat now compared to 108 back then, they can't tell it's me. :(
My own fault.
Did you read the Lovely Bones? It's good, if you haven't, you should, it's by Alice Sebold. Anyway, it's gonna be a movie coming out soon too!
I'm all over the place too, I must be suffering from TTW syndrome too!
Love and hugs Tammy!
Macey

MiMi said...

Oh yeah, and I want that skirt that Lea is wearing. Just saying. Maybe it would motivate me to lose about 800 pounds.

scrappysue said...

i've always wanted to go to atlantic city...congrats to savant!

glad u had a good time at the reunion - sometimes a little dutch courage is what's needed...

Unknown Mami said...

I'm glad you are back! You were missed.

Love the pics.

Lately, I find myself shying away from photographs. I've always been pretty photogenic and loved taking photos, but now all I can see is a double chin. I wish I didn't care, but I do. Sucks for me.

Housewife Savant said...

Bad teeth.
Old lady skin.
Weight here, and there.
Sideburns.
No eyebrow hairs where I need 'em. Eyebrow hairs where I DON'T need 'em.
We all have that nasty stuff that drags our focus to the negative.
You look fabulous on the fb pix.
I'm glad you're home safe, glad you had fun, glad Tom got to enjoy his bday in true family man style.
I'm glad I won your giveaway!

glenna said...

Enjoyed my stop over from SITS rollcall. You were ahead of me this morning.

Gibby said...

Psshaw!! Tammy, Tammy, we all know it doesn't matter how you look, it's what's on the inside that counts. OK, yeah, in a perfect world, right? We all know that's crap! I do get down about the 15 lbs that are my new BFF or if I found a new spider vein or gray hair or whatever, and right when I am about to complain about it, one of my girls walks into the room and I stop. I never have had a positive body image (even when I should have!) and I do NOT want my girls to go through life second-guessing their bodies. Sometimes it sucks being a girl! Guys have beer bellies and it's no big deal. Whatevs.

Anyhow, so glad you are back! We all missed you! Can't wait to hear about your trip!

Keeper of the Skies Wife said...

Glad you had fun!!

I love Atlantic City!!

Congrats to the winner!

Pam said...

Happy birthday to Tom! Congrats to Savant! Glad you had fun on your vacation and at the reunion. Can't wait to hear what you think of Time Traveler's Wife (I'm going on Friday). From what I've heard (and can discern from the trailers) the movie has removed all the depth and complexity of the book and turned it into solely a romance. Ugh! But, I'll suffer through it. Watching Eric Bana for 2 hour will be so worth it! Hubba hubba!

Lastly, good for you for going to the reunion and having fun and not letting your weight keep you home. Being confident is very attractive. The fact that you went and had fun (and didn't hide in the corner), is what everyone will remember. Good for you!

carma said...

Savant!! That lucky spunky gal :-)