Monday, August 31, 2009

(S)he's a Bad Mother ---- Shut Your Mouth!

When we last met with the Bad Moms' Club, they were camping in the woods. This weekend found them - er, um, us - in the woods again.

We have had this trip planned for several months now, so when the skies decided to open up and dump upon us Friday afternoon, just as we were scheduled to leave, we grabbed umbrellas and rain ponchos and said, "Bring it!" It takes more than thunder and lightning and torrential downpours to scare Bad Moms. The ultimate Bad Mom - Mother Nature - rewarded us for this attitude by clearing the skies by the time we arrived and blessing us with the most beautiful weekend weather we could imagine.

We camped at the same site - recognizable by what I like to call "The Tree of Anatomy". That's because I am far too refined and sophisticated to call it what everyone else called it. Take a look and come up with your own names. We're gonna ask for that site again - it seemed appropriate for a gender specific howl at the moon camping trip.

My sister had the shrine set up, with a few additions. Buddha joins us, now, as well as a jackass. (Yin and Yang, baby, gotta keep things balanced.)

Since we decided we didn't want to be a one song jukebox, the Patron was left behind this weekend. But fear not! There's always room for jello!

Johnna makes her jello shots more like jello jigglers. The benefits of this are twofold:

1. Less liquid = stronger shots
2. How much fun is it to eat your shot like a cookie?

That Johnna? She's ok.

Of course those of you who recall our last camping trip know that just because we're camping doesn't mean we have to eat hot dogs on a stick. We started Friday night's repast with a little bit of Bad Moms Brie. Then we moved on to a delicious salad of baby greens, dried berries, walnuts and goat cheese. We had soaked some corn on the cob and thrown it on the fire earlier in the evening. After our salad course, it was good to go. It was so tender sweet and tasty that it required neither butter nor salt. There were burgers, which were also delicious, but most of us opted to split one, as we'd already filled our bellies with such fine fare.

Those of us who rise with the sun couldn't figure out how to raise the little canopy, so we made and drank our coffee right under it. The three of us who enjoyed this thought it was a pretty cool little clubhouse and considered slapping a "No Boys Allowed" sign on it. The rest just gave us a rash of crap for not being able to prove ourselves smarter than the canopy. Oh well. No clubhouse cowboy coffee for you.

You may recall that my sister is the queen of the camp breakfast. She makes massive quantities of hash browns with onions and pepper and garlic and just a hint of butter. (hint : stick as potato : potahto)

In our two breakfasts, we had bacon, sausage and ham.

The eggs which she also prepared were delicious as well, fried in the remnants of the bacon.

Nom nom nom nom nom.

But Saturday dinner - oh, ya'll - Saturday dinner. We started of with another wheel of Brie. This time we prepared it with roasted red pepper salsa and honey almonds. We served it, as usual, with bread toasted over the fire. When that was gone (and let me tell you - seven hungry women, one wheel of Brie - it wasn't long at all before it was gone) we had our first round of fondue.

Round one included shrimp, scallops, filet mignon, chicken and pork along with a vast assortment of dipping sauces provided by our lovely Tastefully Simple representative. (How do you like my mad pimpin' skillz?) This was followed by Gruyere and wine fondue with pretzels and more fire-toasted bread. Do I have to tell you what came next? I don't, do I? You know what came next. Next, of course, came the chocolate. The chocolate course was served with assorted fruits, pretzels, brownies (Chocolate on chocolate. 'Nuf said. ), and an almond pound cake that was the bomb even without the chocolate sauce. (That was also provided by our Tastefully Simple lady and - I swear - I wouldn't be pimping it this much if it wasn't just. that. good.)

Of course even Bad Moms can't indulge like that without feeling the need to work a LITTLE of it off. So we hiked.

Kids, I had almost (but not quite) forgotten how much I enjoy a good hike. We took several. They were glorious.

Johnna in row 1; Row 2 is Lisa, Wendy, Me and Amy

Our guru, Diane, was so inspired by the setting, she turned a little routine stretching into an impromptu yoga session. She IS the warrior!

Impromptu yoga sessions were not confined to the woods. Here's Amy demonstrating the little known but demanding practice of aqua-yoga.

We rented a 22 foot pontoon boat for the afternoon Saturday and enjoyed a peaceful afternoon on the lake.

Well, we enjoyed an afternoon on the lake, anyway.

After a hard day hiking, tubing, drinking and eating, who wouldn't want a nice invigorating foot bath back at the campsite? Roughin' it doesn't have to mean rough feet.

Happy Campers.

Wendy, Lisa and Johnna

We - at least I - went home happy, balanced, and sore. My legs and back are sore from the hiking. My stomach is sore from the laughing. Sore isn't always such a bad thing. Not bad at all.


Vivienne said...

OMGosh!!!!!! Love it! Can I please go on the next one? I will set up your canopy and do KP if you just let me eat some of the leftovers from those meals!!

That's awesome!

MiMi said...

You camp like Vivienne! Good food!!
I love sounds awesome.
I love that you have your own shirts!
Sadly, I wouldn't have even had to duck to get under that canopy. :/

Anonymous said...

That sounds like heaven!! Post the recipe for the jello shots...and any of the other food! ;)

Joanna Jenkins said...

I wasn't feeling the "camping in the rain" thing until I saw your breakfast. YUM-MMY.

Housewife Savant said...

I never even Live that Large at home!
I wish I was a Bad Mom.
Well, you know what I mean.

blueviolet said...

That was gourmet camping! I might be able to handle that kind.

Do you know I have never had a jello shot? What is wrong with me?

mama-face said...


That is the GREAT life. I need me some camping buddies like you and yours.

I really want Brie for dinner now.


Unknown Mami said...

I think you should call it the Bark at the Moon campsite (get it! it's an ass tree! it has bark and is mooning you!) Tammy sometimes I can not control this bad humor of mine.

You all are some Bad Mamma Jammas!

BONNIE K said...

That tree was obscene! I love your wonderful food - much better than I would expect camping food to be.

Pam said...

You guys eat better camping than I do at home. And that canopy, too funny! I would have given up and gone to a hotel!

SparkleFarkle said...

What a GREAT escape! I want to go to there. Seriously, I wouldn't take up much room. ...You can have my St. Bebe of Alcatraz statue to add to the shrine. Think about it?

Keeper of the Skies Wife said...

FUN!! Now I think I can handle camping if jello shots were involved!!!

Melissa B. said...

Hey, I wanna come with next time! And I've got a name for your tree.

The Jack Ass Tree.

The Redhead Riter said...

Sounds like such a lovely time with "the girls"

Love the pics too. Helps me get into the story since I am VERY visually oriented.

carma said...

Wow! You guys know how to do it up on a camping trip. That's some gourmet food; Hoping you did not encounter any ticks or chiggers as that is the first thing that pops in my mind when I think of camping, Debbie Downer that I am.

As soon as I scanned the post and saw that tree, I said (to myself) that looks like an anatomy tree, if I ever saw one, and sure nuff!

MaryRC said...

im a bad mom, im a really really bad mom!! that food, im gonna raid the fridge at 10pm... see... bad ... well i guess i cant blame that on motherhood..

Sandy said...

Not the usual camper fare, that's for sure! Sounds like a wonderful weekend. Glad Mother Nature cooperated.

Gibby said...

The BMC is the most rockin' thing around. Where can I sign up? And can I just say...that canopy? Priceless!

scrappysue said...

take meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! i can be a bad mother too!!!

Kathy B! said...

Seriously?! Could you guys be anymore fun?!