I figured it was time to step into the 21st century - only a couple years late - and put my thoughts out there for public consumption. I've kept a private journal (sporadically) for years and have always found writing to be cathartic, so this seems like a pretty obvious venue to explore.
Things I'm thinking about today:
The Weather: Is Spring EVER going to come? The little tease last week was almost cruel. I need me some sunshine!!!!!
School: Finals are right around the corner - have I taught my material well? Will my students grades reflect this? But mostly - how the hell am I gonna manage next quarter with all this new technology? I fear change. Mostly I fear it will take a course I really love and turn it into something I don't recognize.
My Health/Body: Okay, get used to this topic - I've been obsessing on it a lot lately. I'm so angry with the changes age has made/is making. I can't think of a single thing about the physical me right now that makes me happy. I used to be happy when I went to the gym, but after over a year of REALLY hard work with barely negligible results, it just feels like a waste of time. I just am having a very hard time making it make sense. I don't feel (on the inside) like the person I present as (on the outside). It's so frustrating.
I toooooooo am in need of a strong dose of sun!!!! I really had been ok this year....but suddenly its become cold here after ...Yes a really nice day....SUnshine got me moving and smiling and now...OUCH!! But Mom is coming in tomorrow so busy cleaning etc nontheless...
Techs not a problem here...but I understand change....my first answer is normally NO when it means change...then I move on...and normally its ok...And regarding tech...I remember when I almost didnt take a job at the front desk of Harrahs since I would have to work on a computer! :O Look at us now ;)
And Body image...cruel things happen as we age...and I also don't like it....things are not where they should be ...new things..like lines appear overnight...and I find myself staring dreamily at young kids skin...it is almost unbelievable how soft and flawless it is....and mine???? well I am not my grandfather yet...but.....at 42??? hmmm and looking at these mags only make it worse....
TIP...cant remember the name but their is a new book coming out...not for reading pleasure but now that I am on that topic Pray ..Love..and... cant remember but it is a best seller...nice....but ok the book I first want to talk about...is concerning body image and what society makes us think is normal...there are pics of famous people touched up and untouched photos...really unbelieveable....but if not for our generation (perhaps the damage is done) it is a nice thing to have around to later share with the girls....
I will pray for some sun it makes everything else easier. ;)
"Eat Love Pray" - another friend had recommended that to me as well - perhaps I'll give it a go - maybe over Spring Break.
I'm sure once I get a handle on the new tech stuff it will make my life easier rather than more complicated - but in my current position (adjunct - and they are constantly interviewing qualified folks for a full-time position - so I could lose this position at any time) - it just seems like more trouble than it's worth to learn it. But learn it I must, since I am obligated at least through summer.
As for the girls - I try so hard for positive body image with them - they both are so lovely, but so different.
Thanks for commenting! Makes me feel a little less like I'm talking to myself!
Post a Comment