Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Act Your Age

Yesterday was one of those days when I felt old. Or maybe I just felt my age, I don't know.

While it is not unusual for me to throw off a flippant, "What do I know, I'm old" or "Well, back in my day..." or the occasional "You damn kids! Get offa my lawn!", I don't usually feel old. Or my age. Whatever.

I was chatting with someone recently about how - all through my thirties, if anyone asked how old I was I'd say, "23". I would immediately amend that with, "I'm sorry, I don't know why I said that. I'm 37 (or whatever my actual age at the time was)." I wasn't one to lie about my age - I'm still not - 23 just seemed like the appropriate answer. I think maybe I FELT 23. Sometimes I think I still DO. 23 was not a particularly stellar year for me. It wasn't a particularly anything year, so it's not like I wanted to freeze time. I think maybe I just have the soul of a 23 year old. When I was younger than 23, I wanted to be older and when I was older than 23 I claimed - at least initially - to be younger.

That's usually a good thing.
Until it's time to go clothes shopping. There are young clothes that I love but look silly on me and old clothes that I reject, leaving me headin' on down to frumpy ville.

Except when you're beat over the head with the fact that you're not.
Bifocals and dental issues, for Pete's sake, this is grandma stuff.

Yesterday was one of those days.
Of course there will be an additional fee, Mrs. Howard. Well of course there fucking well will. Let me grab my pocketbook.

Today will be better, I think.
I damn well hope.

How old are you? On the inside?


bassislife said...

I don't know how old I am inside. When I was younger, I always knew that my inner-self was older. It may be that I've finally reached the age of my inner-self. I'd like to think I'm younger than this though.

the girl with the pink teacup said...

Tammy, this was won-der-ful. Doesn't everyone feel like this every now and again?

Having recently left the age of 23 (only seven weeks or so ago), I'm still reeling over the fact that I've apparently reached adulthood. And then a little bit. My mum, who recently turned 50, says that she feels exactly the same way.

Sometimes I feel like I'm about 50 years old on the inside - a lot of people my age piss me right off, and I mostly listen to music recorded decades before I was born - but then I remember that continually behave like a toddler. Which leaves me with an average age somewhere around 24. *Sigh*

You are seriously one of my favourite lady bloggers. This post was so great.

Sandy said...

I've never been able to lie about my age either...After 50, I think I started 'feeling my age' too. But then I often say, I don't know what 53 is supposed to feel like, I've never been here before! Until the last couple years I always felt much younger, always seemed to relate to younger people....not so much now. However, twice very recently I've had people, when they were told I was past 50, say (I thought sincerely) that they would never have guessed I was over 50. I think I'll choose to believe them.

But when I'm feeling good, I guess I'd say I feel in my early 40's. I sorta remember that!

Teen Angst Drama Queen said...


on teh inside, I feel like a 5 yr old sometimes, and a 15 yr old sometimes... But I really be 13... WAAAA I IZ SO COMFLUSSED!!!!!!

Lisa Paul said...

Well, I'm surprised to find I'm exactly as old as Michael Jackson was. Funny, I grew up and he didn't. But now I'm determined to do a Benjamin Button and start youthening.

Housewife Savant said...

My gallbladder is a skillion. And it's pissed.
My liver has probably NOT aged well, but it's HUGE. How many people have a liver the size of a school bus?
I did some damage to my lungs, so there's that.
My insides are ancient.

Some o' my Outside Parts are relics too, but function remains pretty much intact. [ahem] Thank God.

I think I'm 37. It wasn't a stellar year, as you said, but it's a good/semi-believable number.

I tell m'self.

Unknown said...

I enjoyed this post, as I often have a disconnect when I look in the mirror, or I "feel" how my body is screaming out to me that it's not 30 anymore!!!
I was blown away at 40, because my mom was a grandmother at 40, my sister was 20, but that realization hit me hard, I was the mom of a 2 year old!!!
In my mind, or inside, I'm in my 30's and still fairly hip, my real age and my aging knees would disagree with me.........sadly.

Alex the Girl said...

My daughter is talking seriously about moving in with her boyfriend once they graduate highschool. That makes me feel old...and scared...and nervous. I think I took a step back and forgot that she was growing up and aging before my very eyes.

As for my personal self...Sometimes I'm still young on the inside wishing I had mommy here to make the bad man go away

Sometimes I want to dye my hair vivid blue and cut it as short as Pink's, or go all the way and do it like Sinead.

Sometimes I'm just my age...calm...peaceful...knowing. I like that part.

Macey said...

I WISH I was 17.
My nerves are 98.
I feel 52.
I am immature like a 12 year old. I'm multi-dimensional.
I don't know how old you are, Tammy, but you seem purty darn young to me. : )
I still want you to be my teacher.

Carma Sez said...

Headed to frumpy ville - say it isn't so! You are vivacious and clever - those qualities NEVER age...

I seriously don't feel a day over 25 and it scares me to think how old I am getting to be chronologically. I sure don't feel like I've accomplished enough in the almost 20 years since then. OK. Now I'm depressed...

Mrs. Jelly Belly said...

OMG, I totally give the wrong age when people ask how old I am. It's not that I'm trying to lie, I just forget. Sometimes I have to think of what year it is, the year I was born and DO THE MATH. Awful.

I feel about 30 - until, like you, I go clothes shopping. I am hyper-aware of dressing "age appropriate" - and I hate what's appropriate for THIS age. :(

Melissa B. said...

My Mom had a theory, which I also subscribe to. People mature physically...well, duh now...and also intellectually. But emotionally, they stop at a certain age. She always thought I stopped at 14-15, which is why, I guess, I'm a relative success as a high school teacher. I prefer to think I aged to about 25-26, then stopped. So that's how old I feel. It's always such a surprise when I look in the mirror!

Gibby said...

See, I told you this age thing stinks! I felt a little old this week watching all the damn Michael Jackson coverage, especially when they compared his death with Elvis' untimely death, and how people reacted to that back in the day. And then I remembered how sad my parents were, but I remember how young I was and how old my parents seemed then, but then realized I am older now than they were then.

Does that make any sense? If not, blame it on my early Alzheimer's...

Gibby said...

(That could be one of the worst comments I have ever left. Sorry.)

Claudya Martinez said...

F*** if I know, it depends on the day.

AiringMyLaundry said...

I'm told that I can act like a 16 year old at times. I really don't feel 27.

scrappysue said...

some days? i honestly feel 12!!! other days 112 hehe

Alicia said...

man i hope you're having a better day!! if it makes you feel any better i'm 25 and feel 50...life has beaten me up lately...i'm one step away from denture cream and depends!! hopefully tomorrow i wake up feeling loads younger!