Friday, February 11, 2011

lol your fat

That's the sort of retort big gals who try to take a stand for themselves get a lot of. No capitalization or punctuation and the wrong form of you're - the people who make these retorts aren't usually guilty of having a place reserved for them in the brain trust. Somehow, poking fun at their lack of skills with punctuation and grammar doesn't provide much consolation.

The damage is done.

Who's likely to find wider acceptance in the world - someone with a healthy respect for the proper usage of language or someone who dots their (they're? there? giggle, giggle, I never know...) i's with hearts, but rocks a bikini?

Don't bother to answer that, it was rhetorical.

Now I don't mean to imply that brains and (traditionally accepted) beauty are necessarily exclusive of one another. Of course they are not, to imply otherwise would be grossly unfair. I simply meant to illustrate that if it were an either/or situation, beauty would be the route to take for wider acceptance.

It's not a road that's open to all of us.

Does that make us less worthy of respect?

Does that make us simply less?

It shouldn't.

But I wonder.

Because some casual, careless comment forces me to wonder every single day.

Does it?

I have been trying to be nicer lately. I have been trying to stay away from the mean, sarcastic form of humor that I was once so drawn to. I have been trying to surround myself with nice - I have been trying to be a nicer person. I sometimes fail - but I am trying. There's something to be said for that.

I have a great deal of respect for nice.

There is nothing respectable in mean.

Sure, it'll get you the fast, cheap laugh.

But knowing I made someone laugh with a casual one-liner would never pass as an excuse or a consolation for knowing that I made someone cry.


Obviously, someone said something mean to me today when I was not expecting it - they caught me off guard and threw me into a tizzy - which, admittedly, is not a difficult thing to do these days. So here's how I'd like to retaliate: I'd like to catch someone off guard and say something sweet to them that they're not expecting. I bet that could cause a reaction that could have a lasting effect, too. Will you try it with me? Something nice - something kind - something affirming - to someone who will never see it coming - we'll combat senseless meanness with sweetness.

Do it for me.

Let me know how it goes.

Reverse bullying. Let's make it a trend.

lol your nice


Gibby said...

I like to think that those girls, you know, THOSE girls, will one day finish last. It just has to work out that way, right??

Fine, fine. I'll be nice to a meanie today. For you.

Unknown said...

Sweetie that is when you look at them and fooo and THAT is exactly why my heart is 3x bigger then yours and I have no desire to make someone feel horrible simply because I have self esteem issues. Maybe one day you can become as fortunate as me and not have to rely on looking good and being mean to get someone's eye.. they will learn to love you for your kindness, your smile, your brain and your attitude and THEN and only then will you know what love is all about.
But that is just me

msprimadonna67 said...

It's amazing how long a hurtful comment can stay with you. It's equally amazing how long an unexpected positive one will affect you. I choose to put more of the latter out into the world. It may not make a difference to everyone, but it'll be the difference for someone, and that's good enough.

Hello Jodi said...

People are jerks, but your response made me smile.

Nancy/BLissed-Out Grandma said...

There have been times when I've tried to be clever and caustic and snide. I gave that up pretty quickly. I like to think it was because I'm naturally nice, but I know it was partly because I was never that funny. I like the idea of random acts of kindness; I'll try to take someone by surprise.

Cheryl said...

In this day and age, it's not hard to take someone by surprise with a kind word. Kinda sad, but true.

I'm locked and loaded ready to attack someone with a 'niceness' surprise.

Pam said...

I love this idea of reverse bullying. I will do my best to help you fight the good fight. {{hugs}}

Joanna Jenkins said...

Reverse bullying is a great idea, Tammy. As for the mean people out there-- Grrrrrrr.

xoxoxoxoxo jj

Anonymous said...

I don't even know what to say about mean people...I'll never, ever understand them. I try to always be nice...but I'll try even harder today for you...because I love you!!