(S)he's a Bad Mother ---- Shut Your Mouth!

When we last met with the Bad Moms' Club, they were camping in the woods. This weekend found them - er, um, us - in the woods again.


We have had this trip planned for several months now, so when the skies decided to open up and dump upon us Friday afternoon, just as we were scheduled to leave, we grabbed umbrellas and rain ponchos and said, "Bring it!" It takes more than thunder and lightning and torrential downpours to scare Bad Moms. The ultimate Bad Mom - Mother Nature - rewarded us for this attitude by clearing the skies by the time we arrived and blessing us with the most beautiful weekend weather we could imagine.

We camped at the same site - recognizable by what I like to call "The Tree of Anatomy". That's because I am far too refined and sophisticated to call it what everyone else called it. Take a look and come up with your own names. We're gonna ask for that site again - it seemed appropriate for a gender specific howl at the moon camping trip.


My sister had the shrine set up, with a few additions. Buddha joins us, now, as well as a jackass. (Yin and Yang, baby, gotta keep things balanced.)


Since we decided we didn't want to be a one song jukebox, the Patron was left behind this weekend. But fear not! There's always room for jello!


Johnna makes her jello shots more like jello jigglers. The benefits of this are twofold:

1. Less liquid = stronger shots
2. How much fun is it to eat your shot like a cookie?


That Johnna? She's ok.

Of course those of you who recall our last camping trip know that just because we're camping doesn't mean we have to eat hot dogs on a stick. We started Friday night's repast with a little bit of Bad Moms Brie. Then we moved on to a delicious salad of baby greens, dried berries, walnuts and goat cheese. We had soaked some corn on the cob and thrown it on the fire earlier in the evening. After our salad course, it was good to go. It was so tender sweet and tasty that it required neither butter nor salt. There were burgers, which were also delicious, but most of us opted to split one, as we'd already filled our bellies with such fine fare.

Those of us who rise with the sun couldn't figure out how to raise the little canopy, so we made and drank our coffee right under it. The three of us who enjoyed this thought it was a pretty cool little clubhouse and considered slapping a "No Boys Allowed" sign on it. The rest just gave us a rash of crap for not being able to prove ourselves smarter than the canopy. Oh well. No clubhouse cowboy coffee for you.


You may recall that my sister is the queen of the camp breakfast. She makes massive quantities of hash browns with onions and pepper and garlic and just a hint of butter. (hint : stick as potato : potahto)


In our two breakfasts, we had bacon, sausage and ham.

The eggs which she also prepared were delicious as well, fried in the remnants of the bacon.

Nom nom nom nom nom.

But Saturday dinner - oh, ya'll - Saturday dinner. We started of with another wheel of Brie. This time we prepared it with roasted red pepper salsa and honey almonds. We served it, as usual, with bread toasted over the fire. When that was gone (and let me tell you - seven hungry women, one wheel of Brie - it wasn't long at all before it was gone) we had our first round of fondue.

Round one included shrimp, scallops, filet mignon, chicken and pork along with a vast assortment of dipping sauces provided by our lovely Tastefully Simple representative. (How do you like my mad pimpin' skillz?) This was followed by Gruyere and wine fondue with pretzels and more fire-toasted bread. Do I have to tell you what came next? I don't, do I? You know what came next. Next, of course, came the chocolate. The chocolate course was served with assorted fruits, pretzels, brownies (Chocolate on chocolate. 'Nuf said. ), and an almond pound cake that was the bomb even without the chocolate sauce. (That was also provided by our Tastefully Simple lady and - I swear - I wouldn't be pimping it this much if it wasn't just. that. good.)

Of course even Bad Moms can't indulge like that without feeling the need to work a LITTLE of it off. So we hiked.


Kids, I had almost (but not quite) forgotten how much I enjoy a good hike. We took several. They were glorious.

Johnna in row 1; Row 2 is Lisa, Wendy, Me and Amy

Our guru, Diane, was so inspired by the setting, she turned a little routine stretching into an impromptu yoga session. She IS the warrior!


Impromptu yoga sessions were not confined to the woods. Here's Amy demonstrating the little known but demanding practice of aqua-yoga.


We rented a 22 foot pontoon boat for the afternoon Saturday and enjoyed a peaceful afternoon on the lake.

Well, we enjoyed an afternoon on the lake, anyway.

After a hard day hiking, tubing, drinking and eating, who wouldn't want a nice invigorating foot bath back at the campsite? Roughin' it doesn't have to mean rough feet.

Happy Campers.

Wendy, Lisa and Johnna

We - at least I - went home happy, balanced, and sore. My legs and back are sore from the hiking. My stomach is sore from the laughing. Sore isn't always such a bad thing. Not bad at all.